Le Zakouski sur Paris

01/04/2024: I was there for tea time and it was excellent! I will definitely come back

26/03/2024: Please note: this review is only for the afternoon tea, not for any other dining service. The facts: for nearly 70 euros a person, you get a prix fixe menu of a small kettle of tea and a stand of nine pastries to be shared. Keep in mind, though, that other than the tea, the selection and number of pastries will likely vary and you do not choose them. The kettle is enough for about three full cups. Also, for about 20 euros more each, you can get a glass of champagne, but we didn't pick this option. The tea: I'm not a connoisseur, so can't usefully comment on the selection or the quality, but in my uneducated opinion, it was tasty and soothing. Their selection encompasses white, black, green, and others from around the world, so my guess is that if you are a connoisseur, you'll be satisfied. The pastries: I don't recall the names, so I'll give some of the flavors. The first we got actually wasn't a pastry, rather a lemon sorbet-ish thing. Served in its peel, it was a layered dessert of a lemony cream, several bits of fruit (probably also lemon), and then the sorbet. This was the best thing on offer. Next, on the stand, there were a passion fruit-based one, a coffee-based one, a pear-and-cherry one, and at the bottom, a larger, flakier one meant to be spilt. I'd mention more except I honestly don't remember them. For me, the passion fruit and pear/cherry ones were the best, followed by the coffee. The positives: The ambience is fantastic, a multi-level dining space with a glass dome, situated at the back of the hotel. If fancy environs are your thing, you won't be disappointed. The hostess, server, and the gentleman who actually delivered the pastries were all polite (at first) and (somewhat) attentive. More later. The pastries that I remember were good and the flavors were varied. A word of caution, though, at least two of the kinds (so four pastries in total) were very fragile, falling apart the moment we touched them. So be aware, you will be using your napkin. The downsides: I said that the service was polite and attentive. Well, kind of. Some of this may seem nitpicky, but with what you pay, the little things become big things. First, as I removed my coat and was about to place it on the booth next to my wife, the hostess, who was standing there the whole time, finally asked if she could take it. Now, I know this is small, but for such a grand, expensive, five-star hotel, the fact that she had to even ask, rather than simply offer, was a bad sign. Next, while the server was polite enough when we ordered, he was pretty much nowhere to be seen until we were done. While I understand that French dining culture isn't as micromanaging as American, with servers usually only rarely checking in, again, this is a five-star hotel charging roughly $75 per person for, essentially, tea and five cookies. With that price tag, guests should feel pampered. Anyway, when we were done, not only did I have to chase after our server, but when I asked for "l'addition"--"the bill," he looked at me as if I were crazy, like my asking was somehow an affront to them. Finally on service, the gentleman who brought us our pastries barely spoke English and even in French had difficulty describing them. So, look, I get it. We're in France. We shouldn't expect everyone to speak flawless English. But again, Shangri-La is a five-star hotel catering to mostly American tourists. Many suites have an unobstructed view of the Eiffel Tower. Even their Google Maps designation has them listed as a "tourist hotel." With such a steep price tag for this service, having our pastries described shouldn't be a challenge. In the end: La Bauhinia simply wasn't worth it. If they were the only game in town, okay maybe they could justify the service, food quality, and amount, but there are literally dozens of afternoon teas served throughout the city, many that offer pastries that are so good, you won't believe that it's "just a tart." If you're already staying at Shangri-La and La Bauhinia's tea is included for free, go somewhere else.